Together
by MinaBR
Summary: Between longing and guilt, darkness and light, Edward will be given a lesson in desire. Collaboration with altruisticpsyche.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Once upon a time me and my good friend altruisticpsyche co-wrote an entry for the Pick a Pic Challenge. We wanted to continue the story, but never got around to it. Here is the entry and next the only other chapter we wrote. I hope you guys enjoy.

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I want to be normal, average and well-adjusted. I want to meet a girl, marry her and produce 2.5 kids. I want the white picket fence, the mortgage that will break my back to repay and the dead end job that I will complain about. I want to fit into the mould of the common male, perpetually constrained by the self-imposed limitations of a dutiful existence. Like a poor child coveting the treat of an expensive candy, I crave the life I cannot have unless I manage to suppress the sinful yearnings that _he_ arouses.

It isn't fair to say the least. I uprooted my entire life just to be here so I could give myself the chance to start over and become the man I long to be. Everything was going according to plan, until _he_ came along and all bets were off. Just one look from _him_ has had me smouldering in the fire pits of hell, burning for his touch and wondering about his heart. It is an unhealthy obsession. One I indulge much too often, going as far as making his lover's coffee house my favourite haunt.

To put it politely, he gives a new whole dimension to the word promiscuous. He has slept with every good looking man around campus but never more than once or so I am told. Curiously, some of the guys who have succumbed to his attentions claim to be heterosexual. It goes to prove the extent of Jasper's sexual appeal. I'm sure a man like that could break me.

I'm resolute to find myself a good girl and settle down therefore my romantic attentions have been reserved for womankind, even if they don't entice me as he does.

Remembering the shame I left behind is the best incentive to keep my distance from him. The price of desire is too high as I learned not so long ago. Back home, I was inconspicuously impervious to the raging hormones assailing other men's bodies. My bookish personality was the constant excuse for my lack of female companionship. Sam moved to town and suddenly I was fantasizing about servicing him on my knees. Driven by curiosity, I discovered the pleasure of fingering myself while stroking my cock. Obviously, Sam noticed my interest. One day he lured me into an unused classroom and I gladly bottomed for him. I was in heaven until three days later when I found out that he had videotaped our encounter.

By allowing myself to act on the demands of my body, I shamed my family and drove them away. I am determined to regain their love and respect no matter the personal sacrifice that it could potentially mean. So I date pretty girls and nice daughters of respectable families. I'm attentive and sweet and am the perfect boyfriend. I take them to my bed and make love to their too-soft bodies while trying not to pretend that I wish to be the one being invaded by a hard male flesh.

I try with all my might to deny the sizzling attraction I feel for him. One look at his hard male chest has me panting with desire, my nipples straining against my shirt's fabric and my cock swelling until the point of pain. He has this raw sensuality that beckons unsuspecting victims to come closer, unaware of the danger he presents. I see the attention he commands wherever he goes; all eyes follow and all cocks harden.

Sometimes he catches me staring. I'm no idiot. I know that despite my heterosexual act, Jasper realizes the lust he inspires in me in the way I always avert my eyes. I don't want to encourage him to make an advance. On a few occasions he blatantly grabbed his cock, drawing my attention to the significant bulge between his legs. If only he knew the many times I had to run to the bathroom to jerk off to thoughts of him pounding my ass, of sucking his nipples, of kissing his beautiful mouth.

There is no point in denying that what once was pure animal lust has developed into something much more complex. Entangled with the overwhelming attraction, a feeling of tenderness has me wanting to fall at his feet. I lust not only for the carnal knowledge of his body but I also yearn for the deep recesses of his immortal soul. I want to know his heart and mind and have meaningful conversations while I hold him in my arms. I want the warmth of his smiles and the intimacy of his tears. I want him to belong to me. I want to own the beautiful man who effortlessly stole my peace of mind. I long to take him into my body and consume his very existence; destroying both of us in order to build a whole new being.

Yet at the same time I hate him. He got under my skin and became a menace to all my dreams of normalcy and regained family affection. He doesn't even care. To Jasper, the world is a playground and people are mere puppets under his skilled hands. He is a man without a conscience, a pleasure seeker blind to the trail of broken hearts he leaves behind. I see the haunted looks of the men with whom he was once involved. Surely they cover up their deeper emotions by teasing and flirting but the pain is there if one cares to look.

For all of that I shouldn't want him but I do. There is this prickling feeling at the back of my neck whenever he is around. I am constantly aware of him, unable to disconnect from the overwhelming notion that we are meant to be. It's silly and I'm mortified for entertaining such fanciful notions about a guy that is essentially a man-whore. Nevertheless, all the reasoning in the world cannot erase the reality of falling in love with the wrong kind of person, for he is a man and an uncaring one.

Worst of all is this gut-wrenching feeling that twists my insides and clouds my head, this primal need that the sight of him flirting with other men always evokes. I want to break the neck of every man who dares to look at him; disfigure the faces of all his former lovers; destroy anyone Jasper might ever feel attracted to. He should be mine and mine alone. I'm constantly appalled by my medieval notions of ownership but, at the same time, I'm powerless against the instinct to claim him and putting an end to his flirtatious ways.

Unbeknownst to Jasper, he holds the power to destroy my dream and break my heart and I'm afraid I'm helpless to prevent either from happening.

oOo

He keeps staring at me... And he thinks I don't notice... But I notice...

I notice every time he lays those evergreen eyes on me... I see the way he devours my body hungrily with hooded eyes and god knows I want to devour him too.

I know the way he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth' and bites on it every time I bend over. I want to nip that pouty, bottom lip and suck it and wrap those lips around my cock.

I know I'm fucking sexy and god damn it he knows it too. I want to show him just how roughly I can sex him and his squeezable ass up and I know he wants me to show him too. His ass is firm but baby, I can make it flexible for you.

I stare seductively at him and watch as he twirls a strand of hair around his index finger while his eyes travel over my tight, white t-shirt appreciating the well-defined outline of my chest.

I want to grab his locks, the colour of auburn leaves burning in a raging fire twisting in my fingertips as I wrap those pretty lips around my dick.

Ungh! Imagine the possibilities of pleasure... I shift in my seat and then he looks into my aqua eyes. His eyes are beautifully filled with lust. Fuck yeah!

Five... Four... Three... Two... One... And there it is. That hard-on inducing-blush that makes a wet spot appear on my jeans without fail every god damn weekend. Thank god for dark wash jeans. Thank god for beautiful boys.

He abruptly averts his eyes and twists in his seat to hide behind the booth. He thinks he is hidden and his face is definitely not in sight but the bulge in his skinnies is absolutely fucking showing and, oh god, his hand is disappearing and... Fuck... He is full out palming his erection.

I can bring you the best kinds of relief sweet thang. Come to Jasper baby boy. As I am about to stand up and take what's mine, I feel a familiar pair of arms wrap around my neck from behind and soft lips caress the edge of my lips.

"Hey sexy."

"Rile darlin'... mmm... your lips are always so soft... and I really love how talented they are but as much as I love them, you have got to have the worst timing ever." I cast a quick glance in beautiful's direction and notice him flirting with the waitress, Bella.

"There is no fucking way," I growl, standing up and pushing my chair back forcefully. I watch the waitress flirt with my object of desire and lean closer to him with every word that spills from those beautiful lips.

Sighing wistfully, Riley wraps his arms around my waist and leans his head on my shoulder as he whispers into my ear, "He is rather pretty, isn't he? Imagine tapping something as gorgeous as that? An Edward Cullen filling." Riley sighs deeply in my ear and it sends shivers down my spine.

Turning in his arms, I place a hard kiss to his lips and wrap my arms around his waist as I lower my voice and make it husky, "Mmm... I love the sound of that... you on the top, me on the bottom and in the middle... mmm... that would indeed be very delicious..."

Licking my lips at the thought of both of us filling Edward up, I let out a low moan and thrust my hips in small, slow circles against Riley's, "Dance with me sugar."

Riley immediately grabs my hand and leads me onto our make-shift dance floor. I love this place and I love the fact that Peter built it for me as a birthday present.

Peter is seven years older than me and his wallet and bank account are definitely not lacking. He runs his own successful company and increases his wealth on a daily basis, although that consisted of him traveling

I complained once about not having a decent student hang out in or around our campus and Peter was always willing to give me everything I wanted. He bought a couple of properties surrounding the university, demolished them and built Infinity. Infinity consisted of three parts.

The first part: a coffee shop that sold light meals and the best coffee around campus, providing plenty of space with a sociable area. It was filled with round tables and chairs, as well as more private booths for students looking for a quieter place to wind down or form study groups.

Next to the coffee shop was the second part of Infinity; a pub for the older the students who were of age to drink while having a good time; enjoying the live bands that played on stage during the evenings.

The third and absolute best part to Infinity was where I chose to spend most of my Saturday nights, at the club. The club consisted of two dance floors; one for the hip-hop crowd and another for those that loved house and proper dance music.

The club was definitely a hit and attracted a lot of pretty girls and boys from all around campus, although there was only one beauty I was hoping would show up later tonight... A gorgeous boy, who, I planned on wrapping around my needy cock. What? I was young and needed my fill of men, especially since my man was hardly ever around.

If Peter's flight made it back on time today, he would definitely enjoy the little delicacy I had my eyes set on. Oh, we will devour him alright and he will love every minute of it. God knows, we were certainly going to enjoy ourselves.

Spinning Riley around, I pull his ass flush against my hips and grind my erection into his cute little ass. Leaning forward, I press my lips lightly to Riley's ear and whisper, "So tell me something beautiful," Riley shivers and leans further into my body, "How do you know the ever gorgeous Edward Cullen and how can we get him into the club tonight?"

Riley knew what I was really asking him was, 'How do I get Edward to the back of the club so that I can give him the ride of his life.' That's really all I needed to know. Giggling, he turns around in my arms, his arms wrapping around my neck, and whispers back just as seductively, "Oh sweetheart... We don't."

Pulling back to look at his pretty face, I give him a 'don't-fuck-with-me' look and sighing he pulls away from me, turns his head to look at my prey and says, "Unfortunately for us, Edward is not into our anatomy." Facing me once again, he smiles at me with a slight sadness on his face and says, "I've only ever seen him with the ladies. Demetri and Emmett have both tried with no luck and those two definitely know all the right moves. You aren't going to be tapping that delectable ass, Jay... None of us will."

"Hmmm... I guess he just hasn't met the right man yet," I say staring dreamily at Edward's face.

"Whitlock, you are good... Really fucking good actually," he licks his lips and pulls my body flush with his, "... But nobody is _that_ good." He places a soft kiss to my lips and pulls away, "I'll see you later tonight gorgeous and just remember," he says turning his head back, "As yummy as he is, you'll only be wasting your time."

"We'll see," I give him a cocky smirk and blow him a kiss good-bye. He rolls his eyes but leaves with a smile on his face. He knows I'm the best at getting what I want and I always did love a challenge. Nobody can resist a Whitlock anyway. We are just that good at what we do.

I look back to my object of desire, adjust the bulge in my jeans and watch with a cocky smirk as I catch him ogling me. He quickly averts his eyes and jumps back into the conversation with his friends, I assume, who joined him while I was dancing with Rile. Well… I was giving Cullen more something to look forward to than just a display of hot dancing.

Oh he wants me alright and he is definitely not straight. Closeted maybe but no, not straight because there is no way that a straight man would look at another man the way he has been eye-fucking me.

Upon hearing Rosie's laughter, I sadly divert my attention away from him and nearly fall over when I notice that she is at the same table as him. Smiling, I know that this could not be more perfect.

Rosalie is my twin and a damn gorgeous one at that. Since she is sitting with Edward, I can only assume that they are friends and I briefly wonder why I have never met Edward, since I know all of Rosie's other male friends.

I know everybody sitting at their table with the exception of him. Hell, I've fucked all the guys at their table, except for Edward.

Sauntering over, I catch Rosie's eye and she immediately smirks at me, knowing full well why I am on my way over. Leaning back in her chair, she lifts her coffee and takes a sip while waiting for me to make my move. Rose agrees with me that we are beautiful, intelligent and have talents that only the best can compete with. We love to watch one another as we take down our prey. As I near their table, Seth jumps up and into my arms.

"Jas!" he squeals as he wraps his legs around my waist, cups my face and plants a firm kiss on my lips. Laughing, I hold onto Seth's backside and return the kiss. Seth is always so dramatic in his greeting to me and I would be lying if I didn't admit that it boosted my ego a little more every time.

"Hey Seth," I say, still laughing as I plant his feet back onto the ground.

"Hey bro," Rosie grabs my attention and I walk over to her. Bending down, I give her a sweet kiss on her cheek.

"Hey sis," she smiles coyly and tells me to take a seat next to her. Declining, I straighten up and address everyone at the table but my eyes remain trained on Edward, who is keeping his eyes glued to his cup of coffee with a faint blush on his face. God he is even more beautiful up-close. I have to have this boy.

"Well, I just wanted to know if y'all are coming to Infinity's Snow Party tonight?" I ask smoothly while never taking my eyes off of him. Slowly, he turns his head up to look at me and I am stunned by the lust I see swirling in the depths of his green eyes.

"Tonight is one party we are definitely not missing out on, Jasper," Alice pipes up and leans over to kiss Rose on the lips.

"Yeah, we all went shopping for new clothes just for your party bro. Hell, even Edward," Rose introduces Edward and carries on, "who is fairly new to our university will be there."

"Well, Hello Edward," I say saucily as I extend my hand to him, "I'm Jasper... Jasper Whitlock." I give him my most dazzling smile and watch as he quickly takes my hand and introduces himself.

"E-Edward... Cullen. Edward Cullen."

He is absolutely adorable as he stumbles over his words. Holding on tighter, I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it softly, "It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Edward."

His jaw drops open and a furious blush envelopes his features, "Y-you t-too," he stutters out as he quickly removes his hand from mine, throws a few bills on the table and mumbles something about needing to get ready for the party tonight. He quickly says his good-byes and stumbles once or twice on his way out. As soon as the door slams shut behind him the entire table erupts into laughter.

"That wasn't very nice, Jasper," Benjamin says sternly but the smile on his lips give him away.

"I was just trying to be polite," I say coyly and James laughs loudly while Seth sighs deeply saying, "I thought that was very sweet."

"You do realise that Edward is straight, right? I mean, he has only had girlfriends since he's been here," Bella pipes up cheekily.

"With the way he responded to Jasper just a few seconds ago, I would say that he is probably bi Bells," Jake pipes up and Embry adds, "Not to mention the very prominent bulge in his pants that he tried to cover up with his book." The whole table erupts into another fit of laughter.

"He is rather adorable," I say as I stare back at the front doors, "Make sure he is at that party tonight, Rosie. Em will pop in shortly to give you all your V. I. P. passes. Make sure gorgeous gets his." With another kiss to Rosalie's cheek, I leave to get ready for tonight.

oOo

After the rather awkward formal introduction, I'm left to deal with the aftermath of being in close contact with the man who has consumed my every thought and starred in my every fantasy. He was obviously playing one of his damned games. I'm not as obtuse as to believe that he has any lasting interest in me but my body doesn't acknowledge his touch for what it was. The feeling of his lips has sent my libido into overdrive and my defences to full potency. The need to protect myself dictates that I should abstain from tonight's party. At the same moment I decide to stay home, I hear Rosalie's throaty voice calling out to me, "Edward wait!"

Patiently waiting for her to catch up, I can't help but notice that she is prettily flushed, the colour enhancing her cream and peaches complexion. Looking at her is always slightly painful for she bears a striking similarity with the object of my recalcitrant affections. Silently, I wait while Rosalie tries to catch her breath.

"Edward, I need to talk to you."

 _You don't say…_

Naturally, I don't voice such a rude comment but it certainly popped into my mind. Rose can be the queen of obvious statements.

"Hey, wipe out that smart ass look, dipshit. I'm here to talk about serious stuff." Ah, the warrior queen returns... I grin at her fierce scowl. Huffing, she looks away and I'm almost convinced that I am going to be spared from the painful experience of conversing with Rosalie. Unfortunately, I'm not that lucky.

"Listen dude, not everything is what it seems when it comes down to Jasper. God knows he can be an ass but he can also be sweet and caring."

"Okayyy… So why are you telling me this?" As if I don't know, however, I don't want to give anything away. I don't even know if I'm right in assuming that she is going to present Jasper's case.

Snorting in what seems to be disgust; Rosalie taps her foot in irritation. I don't really want to provoke her wrath. She can be a formidable adversary when her heart is set on winning. Not that I have any personal experience in confronting the girl, I'm not suicidal after all.

"Play dumb if you will, but both of us know the truth. You are attracted to Jasper. Don't even try to deny it. The bulge in your pants is proof enough of that."

Damn, damn, damn! I need to divert her attention because, let's face it, nobody wants to be confronted by a family member of the guy you are lusting after.

"It was Bella..." but of course, she wouldn't let me finish.

"Seriously, do you think I'm an idiot? Or blind perhaps? I've seen the way you look at _her_. It's always polite disinterest on your part and panting horniness on hers. With Jasper though, you were flustered and excited. You should have seen your face, desire written all over it but I'm not here to force the issue. I just came to say that my brother isn't always all he is made out to be."

Patience evades me in the face of the woman determined to have her say. She is a force of nature for sure but I'm not exactly weak even though whenever possible I try to avoid arguments at all costs. Right now, stating my mind is a necessity to which I must succumb.

"Why should I? Why should I put myself out there for a man who happens to be in a serious relationship? He can never be mine. There are another men to whom that honour belongs and besides, I'm not about to be one of his playthings. I won't be sent on my way after he is done using my body. Are you as blind as him or are you simply blind to his faults? Maybe you hate me and want to see me suffer..."

Her hand touches my cheek and her soulful eyes search mine. After a long time, I notice the tears threatening to spill and the sadness surrounding her compressed lips. She no longer looks like a woman on a mission. She resembles a concerned mama about to comfort her wayward son. It tugs at my heart because it is a reminder of things I am no longer entitled to.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry… so, so sorry. I thought it was merely about attraction. I would never have guessed how deep your emotions run, Edward. I was simply trying to point out that it would be okay for you to fuck Jasper if you so desired."

I'm shocked beyond words by the compassion lurking in her eyes, the caring way she looks at me and the gentleness of her voice. She knows that, given the nature of my feelings, dallying with Jasper would be something close to suicide. Hugging her briefly, I am grateful to whatever greater power saw fit to put her in my way. She can be forceful and stubborn but she is also loyal to the ones she loves. Before walking away, she says the words that will change my life.

"I know it hurts, knowing the feeling of the one you love only to have it snatched away but consider this Edward: Would you deny yourself the pleasure of knowing heaven just because it would only last for a day?"

Her question confuses me but it truly brings forth a valid point. Could I do it? Could I enjoy Jasper and then allow him to throw me away? Would I survive it? Would I consent to it? I feel the beginning of a migraine and am almost happy about it, for it has the potential of taking the decision out of my hands, at least for tonight. The thing is… I'm not comfortable with running away. I don't know what to do but I certainly won't hide.

Tonight, I'm going clubbing. Everything else will be decided as the night progresses. This night will be about being young and refraining from trying to dominate my destiny. Maybe nothing will happen and he'll leave me alone. Wouldn't that be pathetic?

So much angst over a decision, one I might not even have to make after all is said and done? Worst case scenario: Bella will be there and I will make her my next girlfriend. Perhaps she will even be the one I take to the altar.

With spring in my step, I head home. There is a party I need to prepare for...

oOo

I watch intently as my boy makes his way up the stairs to the top floor of Infinity. By the look on his face, it seems as though he has never seen anything quite like it. Of course you haven't sweet thang. I bet you've also never been pleasured the way you will be tonight.

He is so sexy. Long, strong legs that carry on forever that will be wrapped around me later tonight as I pump in and out of him. That thought alone has my semi-erect dick hardening further. Covering my crotch with my hand, I lean back on the V. I. P. couch with my right arm stretched across the back of the leather, drink in hand and I squeeze down firmly while eye-fucking the hell out of Edward.

As he approaches us he looks directly at me. Smiling sweetly at him I start to palm myself and catching the movement, his eyes travel down, down, down until he sees the treat I have waiting for him. He just doesn't know it yet.

He stops in his tracks, his eyes glaze over and he licks his lips while discreetly trying to adjust himself. Fuck yeah, you want this, don't you baby boy?

A couple of people bump into him, trying to make their way around him and this brings him out of his lust-induced stupor. Shooting his eyes back to mine, I quickly throw my head back and moan softly while looking at him through hooded eyelids.

Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Fucking beautiful...

"Edward!" Bella hollers over the loud music and waves him over to our table. He breaks eye contact with me and quickly makes his way over to Bella at the other end of our V. I. P. section.

You're far away now sexy but pretty soon you and I will be getting up close and personal, Edward Cullen.

Placing my Jameson on the rocks down on the table, I get up and make my way over to him. Standing right behind him, I can hear his infectious laughter vibrating through me. Leaning forward without touching him I whisper in a husky voice, "I'm so happy you could make it Edward."

He completely freezes and I notice a slight shudder run down his body. Ever so slowly, he turns around and when he does our faces are very close to one another. Smiling, I lean to the side and place a gentle kiss to his left cheek, "Welcome to Infinity, Edward."

I turn around and walk towards the dance floor and looking back I see Edward standing slack-jawed and eyes blown wide staring at me. He is so adorable. Blowing a quick kiss at him, I squeeze my way towards the centre of the dance floor and begin to sway to the beat of the music.

Not even five minutes in, I feel a strong pair of hands grip my hips and pull me into them. A trail of kisses move down my neck and a hand comes around to cup my jaw, pulling my head back and claiming my lips in a fiery kiss.

"Mmm... hey baby," I mumble against his lips.

"Hey, sugar," he mumbles back before capturing my lips in another searing, hot kiss.

Breaking apart for air he turns me in his arms and I flash my dimples for him and in turn he gives me his most dazzling, loving smile. God I loved this man.

"I missed you, sweetheart." He tugs on my ponytail pulling my head back and leaning in to inhale my scent deeply before kissing, nipping and sucking along my neck. Groaning, I pull him closer to me and moan out how much I've missed him as well.

"Dance with me, beautiful."

"With pleasure my darling." Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull his hips flush to mine as he wraps his arms around my waist and we begin to sway and grind against one another to the pulsing beat of the music.

Not even thirty minutes later as Peter is grinding his erection into my ass he bites down on my earlobe and speaks huskily into my ear, "Judging from the look on that good-looking boys face, I assume he is the one you have been telling me about; the one with the delicious blush?"

Opening my eyes, I see Edward dancing with Bella but watching Peter practically having foreplay with me on the dance floor, a look of want etched onto every part of his pretty face. I watch intently as he blushes at Peter's stare and his blush only spreads as he looks at my smirking face.

oOo

I'm burning in hell. He wants me and is making no secret of it, flaunting his assets right beneath my nose. When I entered the V.I.P. section, I was the sole recipient of his lusty gaze. It perused my body with unabashed admiration and barely concealed hunger. The intensity of the longing he awakens scares me into sitting with Bella and ignoring the simmering desire between us.

I try to forget about Jasper and simply enjoy the company of a nice woman. Bella, with her girl next door looks is more than attractive. She is smart and genuinely sweet; a true diamond of the first water. If I'm not mistaken she is even a virgin because she is one of the true romantics, saving her innocence for the one she loves. She is definitely a keeper but I can't seem to be able to muster up one shred of interest.

My body betrays me every step of the way, shuddering in ecstasy at his whispered words. It is a singular kind of torture hearing his husky voice whispering my name. Lurid images of myself offering my body to deep penetration by him flashes before my eyes in quick succession. My nipples pebble and they are so sensitive that the mere fabric of my shirt is enough to elicit a barely suppressed moan from the depths of me.

My cock is swollen and feels ready to burst through the seams. Oh, to fuck his tight hole and spill my seed deep inside his body, marking him as completely mine... Needing a diversion from that line of thought I ask Bella to dance. Her body moves gracefully and I consider taking her to my bed and slaking my lust on her willing body. It wouldn't be the same but perhaps it would take me one step closer to overcoming this strange obsession with someone less than proper.

The reappearance of Jasper's elusive lover, however, thwarts my plan. Peter is an attractive older man as alluring as Jasper, though in a more subdued way. The man's attitude regarding Jasper is something that angers and baffles me. Peter has no problem with Jasper lascivious conduct. It is rumoured that sometimes he even joins in on Jasper's escapades.

How could a man willingly share someone like Jasper? If he were mine, I would keep him at my side glaring daggers at any men who dared to glance his way. I would constantly remind him to whom he belongs, forcing his body to accept my ownership. I would exhaust his energies so that he had nothing left to share with the other males seeking his attentions.

I'm envious of the man who holds Jasper's beautiful body within his arms. I wish to be Peter, for only then could Jasper ever be mine. My mind knows that they belong to each other but my body seethes in rage. My man is being groped by hands other than my own, rubbing himself on a body that doesn't belong to me. I'm crazed and unhinged, dismayed by the sight of Jasper practically fucking another man.

It is simply too much, I have to get away. I mumble an excuse to my almost forgotten dance partner and make my way towards the bathroom.

oOo

"Beautiful, isn't he?" I say to Peter as I lean my head back on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around the back of his head and pulling him into a heated kiss. When we pull apart, we see Edward storming off of the dance floor and both chuckle.

"Looks like your choice for tonight has developed quite a crush on you, baby." He laughs and we watch as Edward heads towards the men's rooms.

"Mmm... Who wouldn't?" I say cheekily as I turn to face Peter, "Meet us in 15 minutes, sexy." After kissing Peter deeply, I cut through the crowd and take a short cut to the men's rooms.

I wait patiently for Edward to exit the bathroom. The minute he steps out, I grab his arm and pull him into our secret passageway. I push him against the wall by his shoulders and crush my lips to his.

At first he is stunned but I continue to kiss him hard and swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. Gasping, he opens up and immediately, I plunge my tongue into his warm, moist mouth. Grabbing his wrists, I pull his arms above his head and grind down hard into his erection.

Moaning, he starts responding to my attack on his mouth by tangling his tongue with mine. We kiss wildly and passionately as he continues to moan deeply and rocks his hips into mine.

Breaking apart for some much needed air, I let go of one of his arms and tangle my fingers in his hair. God it's like silk. Tugging on his silky soft locks, I pull his head back and pepper kisses across his jaw and up to his earlobe. Letting go of his other hand, I grip his hip firmly and grind into him as I take his earlobe into my mouth and suck, hard.

"Fuck..." his moans send pleasure rocketing through my body. Never have I been so turned on in all my life. His hands grip the end of my shirt and tug up. Lifting my arms, he quickly rips the material off of my body and chucks it across the passage.

Not wanting to wait any longer, I tug his shirt over his head and send it flying. Taking a step back, I roam my hands over his chiseled body and grip his nipples in between my fingers, pinching and twisting. His head falls back against the wall as he lets the most delicious moans tumble from his lips.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Edward..." he grips my ass cheeks and grinds my hard-on into his, creating the necessary friction. Leaning forward I wrap my lips around one of his dusky nipples and swirl it around in my mouth; biting down on it he hisses. I lap and then blow on it to soothe the erotic ache.

Grabbing me by my ponytail, he shoves my lips onto his other nipple where I administer the same attention, making it pebble and harden.

"Fuck yes…" he hisses out and my lips curl upwards into a smile against his skin. Moving down, I lick and swirl my tongue all the way down his body, taking care to reach every single groove in his perfectly ripped muscles. I have never tasted anything as sweet as the boy pushing me to my knees... he tastes divine.

Nipping along his hip bones and then licking a moist trail along his 'v' to soothe the sting of my teeth, he continues to grind into me and moans out his pleasure.

"More Jasper..." he pants out, "I need more!" He continues to push my head lower and my dick throbs at the dominance my shy boy is now showing.

Reaching for his button and zipper I open them slowly and torturously, all the while he continues to beg for me to suck him. Once they are undone, I pull his pants down roughly causing his long, thick cock to spring up and out, slapping me against my chin.

Fuck yeah! I could get used to this... Commando baby!

Without hesitation, I grab his ass - it is so firm yet, so supple - and give a long lick to the underside of his impressive dick. A taste of heaven... his divine scent is concentrated down here and I want more, always more.

I take the head of his heavy cock into my mouth and suck lightly while slipping my tongue into his slit, the taste of his precum is like fireworks in my mouth.

"Your lips look so good wrapped around me, Jasper," he says huskily as I look up at him through my lashes and smile around his head. His hands are digging into my scalp as he starts to sink my lips further over his erection. Winking up at him, I take a deep breath and plunge down, taking him all the way down my throat and moaning around him. I began to bob my head, licking and sucking hard on his beautiful dick.

"Jesus Christ! Fuck! Ungh!" Grabbing my curls harder, he stills my head and begins to fuck my mouth with wild abandon.

"Yes, god! Your mouth... feels... fucking incredible baby." I love how vocal Edward is as he becomes fully aroused.

"So... fucking good... ungh! I'm gonna... cum... fuck..." His hips swivel faster and his moans increase. As soon as I feel his balls tightening I pull off and stand up, pulling his mouth roughly to mine. Shoving my tongue in his mouth, I dominate the kiss and allow him to taste his essence on my tongue. I break the kiss, taking a step back and start to unbutton my jeans. Growling, Edward slaps my hands away and says, "Mine." I won't deny it, that shit is hot and it makes precum leak from the tip of my straining cock.

Ripping my pants down over my hips, they pool around my ankles and Edward leans forward, inhaling my musky scent while humming his approval. Gripping my cock, I coat his pouty lips with my essence as I rub the head across his fuller bottom lip first and then swipe it across the top. Slapping my monster against his lips I tell him to open up and he obeys my commands.

"Good boy," I praise him, "Now suck me Edward, hard." He immediately suctions me to the back of his throat, swallows around me and then moans loudly, the vibrations sending the most exquisite sensations coursing through my body.

"Ungh! Fuck yeah!" I say hoarsely, "Show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do boy." Grabbing the back of his head, he bobs his head on and off of my straining erection. He sucks, licks and blows me with the kind of talented tongue that until tonight I have never had the pleasure of feeling before.

"Yes!" I hiss out as he gently drags his teeth along the underside of my dick before plunging back down and licking all the way back up. With only my purple head in his hot fucking mouth, he creates an incredibly forceful suction that makes me growl loudly from the incredibly hot feeling.

Stripping himself of his shirt and dropping his pants Peter saunters up to Edward and kneels down grasping his ass cheeks firmly in his hands, kneading and squeezing them. Startled, Edward releases me and spins his head around. Before he has a chance to question, Peter grabs him by his jaw and pulls him into a deep, sensual kiss. Now I know how fucking amazing those kisses are and I drop to my knees once again.

Pulling Edward's earlobe in between my teeth, I bite down gently and then suck it into my mouth as I wrap my fingers around his erection and pump him. I feel Peter's hand travel to the back of my head and tug on my ponytail.

"Fuck yes babe! Harder!" I moan out as I hear Edward whimper into Peter's mouth at the loss of my hand. I quickly divest my body of all my clothing as Peter and Edward break apart for air.

Peter pulls Edward's slick back to his bare chest and takes Edward in his hand. He pumps him while tweaking his nipple and biting down softly on his shoulder. Peter's thick, uncut cock is slipping in between Edward's cheeks as he grinds his hips into him. Edward is a sight to behold as his eyes roll back and short panting breaths tumble from his lips. His body shakes from the pleasure rocketing through his body.

Pulling Edward's legs straight, I quickly take his shoes, socks and jeans off, chucking them to the side. Leaning forward, I grab Peter's lips in a fiery, white-hot kiss and turn Edward's head to witness every part of our fuck-hot session.

"That's so hot," he whispers huskily. Breaking apart, Peter and I turn towards him and Peter cups Edward's face as I take him back into my hand, stroking languorously.

Leaning over I whisper into his ear, "Are you ready for us Edward? Are you ready to have my cock deep in your ass as Peter takes your impressive cock deep down his throat? Are you ready for me to fuck you into oblivion as you fuck Peter's pretty mouth?" I ask, slipping two fingers into Peter's mouth. He puts on an erotic show of sucking my fingers for Edward while he leans back and grabs the packet of lube out of his jeans.

"Is that what you want, Edward... hmm? Tell me," I command as I tug his head back harshly and take one, long lick from the back of his ear to the edge of his lips.

"Please..." he begs softly and then bites his bottom lip. That there is the sexiest mother-fucking thing I have ever seen.

"Please what? What is it that you need Edward? Tell us and it's yours." I lean over and take one of his pebbled nipples into my mouth and suck gently while I continue to stroke him.

"I... I want... Ungh!" he cries out as Peter adds some flavoured lube to his throbbing cock and my hand slips and slides smoothly over his erection.

"Yes sugar?" Peter urges as he circles one slick finger around Edward's puckered entrance.

"God that feels..." he mumbles incoherently as Peter slips one finger into his needy hole and begins to pump it in and out, "... feels so... good..."

"Do you want my fiancé to fuck you beautiful?" Peter demands of him as he slips in another finger and curls them to tap his sweet spot.

"Yes! Ungh... Fuck me, Jasper! I want you... to fuck me... right there!" Edward's screams out, his pleasure tumbling from his lips while Peter continues to stretch him and rub over his prostate.

Grabbing Peter's jeans, I retrieve the condom, rip open the packaging and roll it swiftly down my straining cock, making sure to leave a gap at the head. God I have never wanted anyone more than I want this boy in front of me. He simply oozes sex-appeal. He is so beautiful.

Peter pours more of the flavored lube onto his fingers and coats me with a generous amount. He has such strong hands and they always feel fucking amazing on me. He pours more lube around Edward's stretched hole and it's a beautiful, wondrous sight.

Pulling Edward up by his hand, I immediately pull him into a searing kiss. His tongue twists perfectly with mine and his whole scent invades me completely. He smells so fucking good! Peter pulls him away from me and I growl at the loss of Edward's hands pulling at my back and hair.

"Soon sweetheart… soon." Edward is so consumed in his lust for us, especially for me that he immediately positions his hands against the wall, pushes his ass out and turns his head around winking at me.

"Fuck yes!" I moan out lowly as I pull Peter roughly by his hand and position him in front of Edward's engorged member. I move back around to position myself behind Edward, wrapping my hands around him and guiding him to Peter's waiting tongue and lips, "Suck!" I command and Peter immediately swallows Edward, eliciting sexy noises from throat.

Leaning back up, I position myself at Edward's entrance and push slowly forward. No time to tease, I have to get in there now, before I explode! I feel Edward tense and hiss as my monster of a cock pushes past his tight ring of muscle.

"Relax for me baby. Let me take care of you." Immediately I feel him begin to relax and I have to clench my teeth as his ass starts to swallow every inch of my cock until my legs hit the back of his thighs. God damn, he is tight!

"Tight... you feel so fucking good Edward." I hiss out as I force myself not to begin fucking him like there's no tomorrow.

"So full... Ungh! Peter, yes! Aaahh... fuck me Jasper!" he cries out as Peter works him over like a pro from the front. Placing one hand in the middle of his back while the other grips his hip, I pull out a little and push back in deeply. I do this for about a minute as I watch my slick cock disappear in and out of Edward's warm cavern.

Edward's moans increase and he orders me, "More Jasper... p-please... fuck me harder..."

Gripping his hips tightly with both hands, I dig my fingers into his hips and start to pound into his beautiful, needy hole.

"Never..." I moan loudly, my voice hoarse, "Never felt... so tight... so fucking warm… your ass... wraps perfectly... it's a perfect fit... I never... fuck!" I scream out as I feel his inner walls start to flutter around my swollen cock.

"Jay!" he screams out and all that can be heard is the sound of skin slapping against skin as I push Edward's legs further apart and drive into him harder, smacking his prostate over and over; slurping and sucking as Edward's dick plunges in and out of Peter's mouth at a rapid pace; the sound of Peter's hand jerking himself off rapidly; Edward's fingers scratching along the wall as he tries desperately to find something solid to hold onto; our moans, groans and screams ricocheting and reverberating off the walls. We were creating a cacophony of elevating sexual noises as we neared that proverbial cliff.

Tugging Edward's hair harshly and pulling him closer to me, I pant out my command, "Cum for me beautiful. Spill that desire deep down my future husband's throat. Give it all to him."

Edward lets out a strangled cry as he shoots out stream after stream of his heavenly essence down Peter's throat and Peter swallows every last drop as he spurts his own release all over his hand and the carpet. I drive my cock deep into Edward with wild abandon and a few, hard thrusts later, I am spilling my seed deep inside his hot, tight ass filling the latex up with so much cum I fear it might burst.

"Fuck!" I pant out as I collapse against Edward's sweaty back, all three of us exhausted. Trembling, Edward collapses on top of Peter, thankfully missing my prized possession, and I fall down with him.

After a minute or two, Peter pushes us off of him and gets up. Finding our individual items of clothing, he picks them up and hands them over to us with a content smile on his face, "Get dressed," he demands and I watch knowingly as his blissful look turns hungry again while his eyes roam my tall, naked form.

Smirking at him, I turn to face the wall, bend down to pick up my shirt and as I stand back up Peter pins my hands to the wall and grinds his semi erect, jean-clad cock into my ass, "Your ass is mine later baby," he whispers huskily into my ear and I shiver at the promise of him filling me up in the most delicious ways.

Upon hearing a door, I spin around and watch Edward start to leave. Running up to him, I grab his arm, spin him around and pull him in for a deep kiss and he responds in kind. Breaking the kiss and bringing one of my most pleasurable sexual experiences to an end, I cup his face in one hand and trail my fingers down his cheek with the other, "Thank you, Edward," I whisper softly, knowing that I am going to miss him but also knowing that Peter and I never brought the same guy into our 'bed' more than once.

As his blush reappears, fleeting thoughts run through my mind. Can I really give this up? Is one time really going to be enough for me? Peter's arms wrapping around my waist chase those thoughts away immediately and my hands fall away from Edward's beautiful face to wrap around Peter's forearms. Leaning around me, Peter thanks Edward for an amazing time tonight and places a soft kiss to his cheek and then pulls me closer to him. We stand together and watch as Edward bites on his bottom lip, thanks us quietly and turns around, walking out of our private passageway and back into the party.

Watching Edward's sexy form walk away from me leaves a strange feeling in my gut. Not wanting to dwell on or acknowledge it, I turn around in Peter's strong arms and attack his mouth with renewed hunger. This is where I belong.

oOo

Empty, that's how I feel. I allowed myself to be overcome with desire and it blinded me to the consequences following my surrender. The act itself was pure bliss and even the presence of Jasper's lover couldn't diminish the delight of bottoming to the lusty man who dominates my fantasies. It was pointedly the most exhilarating hour of my life, but now that it is over I am confronted with the reality of being discarded.

For whatever reason, I entertained the notion that it wouldn't happen to me; the thanks and farewell routine. My traitorous imagination deluded me into believing in a happily ever after, that I was the one who would stay, that he would choose me. I chuckle at my own foolishness, at the blindness of a man infatuated with an image instead of with a living, breathing being. I am finally ready to see that the Jasper I adore is nothing more than an amalgam of the real man's best traits and the ones my dream lover possesses.

No, I don't love the man but love the idea of a destined lover, the one who would sweep me from my feet and carry me towards a merry future. What I truly wanted was to be rescued from my carefully planned future and my twisted notion that I could make myself be "normal". As sweet as they are, I don't wish to share my life with a woman. I don't want their pliant flesh beneath my hands. I want to feel the ripple of muscles and the tightness of an ass clenching around my cock.

Despite all of my realizations, the pain of rejection is still very much present. Seeing the man to whom I had surrendered control with his true lover, dented my pride and battered my heart. However, I'm prone to adopt a philosophical approach to life and face this night's proceedings as nothing more than the push I needed towards a better future.

No, Jasper and I will never be together but, it wouldn't be too dramatic to say that the experience changed me. Not in the way I was hoping for but in a deeper, more permanent way. I'm ready to stop hiding from myself. Today, I'm coming out of the closet, owning up to my identity and loving myself for who I am. My family will either accept or reject me. Either way, as it stands, they are already lost to me so our relationship can only get better. My asinine plan to violate myself just to conform to the rules of a judgmental society is dead and buried.


	2. Chapter 2

"I need you, please. Baby, please, don't make me wait." Like a bitch in heat, I'm not above begging to be fucked. Around my cock, his lips stretch in a mischievous smile. He isn't done with tormenting my body, just yet. Sliding his tongue down my cock, he sucks my ball into his mouth. It only lasts for a moment, because his target is a little bit to the south. The tip of his tongue lightly caresses the folds guarding the entrance to my body. He knows what I like and doesn't spare any efforts in pleasing me. Fisting his hair, I thrust my hips forward, trying to make him lick my insides. He doesn't answer to my ultimatum, choosing to pucker his lips and press a kiss to my hole. To my delight, his kiss morphs into a passionate dance of invading and retreating possession. Moaning his name, I tug him up and into my arms, for I no longer can endure his sensual assault.

He pushes my naked body against the wall, pinning my hands above my head and kisses me fiercely. My man is slightly domineering, liking to keep me at his mercy. Being as tall as me, our bodies are perfectly aligned. I feel my hard nipples rubbing against the silky texture of his shirt; my hard cock thrusting against the rough material of his pants. He bites my lip, making me pant in desire. Sucking the injured flesh within his mouth, his tongue soothes the sting his teeth have created. Stepping away he regards me with an intent gaze that never fails to unsettle me.

"You are so beautiful, all hot and bothered, waiting for my cock." I wish I had the lucidity to offer a witty come back, but words evade me while I watch his nimble fingers making a quick work of his shirt's buttons. He takes his time parting the garment, taunting me with the promise of flesh to be exposed.

"Do you like to see me stripping? Or do you merely like what's underneath? Such a perverted little boy... Maybe you should atone for your sins by getting on your knees."

I follow his command, eagerly anticipating the pleasure of sucking him off. As always, I'm baffled by the sheer perfection of his body. All hard planes and pronounced muscles, his physical appearance is a tribute to the flawless statues of ancient Greece, except for his cock which stood taller and thicker than any of the miniatures depicted in the classical works of art. He chuckles loudly, letting me know that he is aware of my unabashed perusal of his body. Blushing, but determined to hold my own, I boldly stare at him while my right hand encircles my cock and my left pinches my nipple.

"Well, baby, if you don't want to play with me..." I don't get to finish my saucy comment, because the next thing I know, he has me on my back, biting my neck and grinding our cocks against each other. Peppering my chest with kisses, he sucks my nipple until I'm a slobbering mess, pushing my hips against his, trapping his head against my chest. My neglect nub throbs for attention. Noticing my need, he takes it within his mouth, but, instead of giving it the same gentle treatment, he clamps his teeth on it, like a beast trying to feast on the flesh of its prey. The onslaught of lust that follows, has my hand wrapped around his cock, trying to guide him inside my hole.

"Not yet my greedy bitch. You still have my cock to suck." Not a long time ago, I would be appalled by the crudeness of his remarks. But I'm no longer shy and skittish – I'm able to admit that I love the names he calls me. Whenever he refers to me as "his bitch", my cock twitches in need, for I love losing my mind to desire. He knows that, so he does his best to make me feel like a dirty, needy thing.

"Come to think of it, I should take advantage of our position and fuck your mouth." By its own volition, my mouth opens for his foray. He straddles my chest, running the just the tip of his cock against the seam of my lips, wetting them with the pre-cum leaking from his engorged flesh. Unable to restrain myself, I suck the head into my salivating mouth. It's swollen, throbbing, all ready to sweeten my mouth with his delicious cum. He threads his fingers into my hair, giving a hard tug. Startled, I let him pull out of my mouth.

"Such a tart. I will have to teach you some manners." Giving me no notice or time to adjust, he plunges into my mouth, nudging my tonsils. I gag a little – though I'm no novice at deep throating the ferocity of the invasion is a delicious reminder of the precariousness of my situation. Realizing my need for air, he retracts a little, allowing me the time to catch my breath. He is no barbarian, but he isn't a gentle lover either, for as soon as he realizes that I'm okay, he starts to fuck my mouth. His rhythm is fast and hard – I barely have the time to let my tongue wander. The relentless plunging makes me greed for the ultimate prize. I can almost taste the salty proof of his enjoyment.

"Only obedient whores get to taste my cum. On your hands and knees, now." If there is something I love more than sucking his dick, is having it deep inside my ass. So, I don't complain, but rather eagerly comply to his command. He is behind me, alternating between biting my butt-cheeks and licking the indentions his teeth left. One of his hands is probing my hole, coating my walls in lube, for the incoming penetration. The other hand is pinching my balls, taking me to an unprecedented ecstasy.

"Please, I'll do anything. Anything. Just fuck me. Now. Please." I'm sobbing, crying, beyond caring about anything but the glorious feeling of being taken by him. His only response is a slap to my ass that makes me tremble in need. At the feeling of the tip of his cock probing my opening, I push my hips toward him, trying to speed the process. A slap to my balls has me panting in something between pain and desire. It's too much. My arms give away and my head falls down. His powerful hands still my hips, keeping them in position for his fingers' assault. He takes his time preparing me while I fight the need to come, because I crave the bliss brought by my walls clenching around his cock. That's why I fist my hands and grit my teeth, holding on to the tiny shred of sanity that desire didn't erase.

I'm almost at my breaking point when his fingers retreat. I'm left empty but not for long, soon his head his passing through the tight rim of muscles guarding the entrance to my body. His chest touches my back, his lips shower my nape with delicate kisses, his hand keeps my head down while his other hand bruises my hip with the power of his grip. His strokes are long and slow, a counterpoint to the roughness of his foreplay. It's just another one of his torture methods, especially designed to obliterate my defences, annihilating my shyness, allowing the wanton creature within me to come to the surface and have fun.

Only when my mind is completely shut down and I'm babbling incoherently, he starts to fuck me the way my body demands. No longer tender, he fucks hard, fast, relentlessly. When he is balls deep, he does a circular movement with his hips, creating a delicious friction between the tip of his cock and my prostrate. The second time he does that, it becomes too much and I can't hold my orgasm anymore. I'm so ready to cum that not even a single touch to my dick is required. My walls pulsate around his cock, tightening and loosening, bringing his pleasure to a crescendo until the summit of sensation. The sensation of cum dripping from my hole into my thighs is deliciously sinful and I relish the knowledge that he enjoyed our little adventure as much as I did.

He flips me on my back, instantly pressing a languorous kiss to my smiling lips. Gently, he pushes my hair from my forehead and lovingly traces the line of my eyebrows, nose, jaw. His eyes are soft, filled with affection, regarding me with something akin to love. As much as I crave his sensual domination, it's the moments of quiet intimacy that really makes my heart soar. We twine our fingers, silently regarding the perfection of our union.

But no heaven is supposed to last forever. Little by little, reality intrudes and we are reminded that we are at a party and at any given moment someone could walk in on us. Actually, that was the fuel that stoked our fire which culminated in our little adventure. We didn't even lock the door, both of us hoping to have a little audience – we are kinky that way. But no interruptions came, so we bask in the glory of our lovemaking for a little longer.

"Edward, baby. Come, we should get dressed. Let's get down and enjoy the rest of the party. I want to dance with the most gorgeous man I've ever seen."

"And who would that be?" Shame on me for fishing for compliments.

"You, baby. You are my one and only. I love you Edward."

"I love you too, Garrett."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I notice someone standing at the door. I can't see his face, but I feel unsettled by his presence. It's a prickling on the back of my neck, an awareness that I can't quite name. I've felt it a couple of times before, always after a hook up. Did it mean that someone was watching me those other times too? Did it mean that this faceless man was the one watching me then? Did...

"Yeah, dude, we are hot, but the show is over. So, close the door and give us the privacy to get dressed."

At Garrett's dismissal the man hesitates for a second, but eventually bangs the door, leaving me and my boyfriend alone. For some unfathomable reason, I feel a stab of pain but quickly suppress it, for Garrett is the only man I need.

It had taken a lot of courage, going back home. Given the circumstances of my departure, the news of my coming back didn't arouse a lot of joy amongst my family. Their reception was mild at best, mom did try to make me feel welcomed, however my father made no effort to conceal how disturbed he was by my reappearance. I could understand their reticence, but I couldn't help but feel wary of their reaction at the news I had gone there to impart.

Like the coward creature that I am, I tried to postpone it for as long as I could. For a few days, I allowed myself to be swept away in the fantasy of an almost relationship with my dear family. They still believed my previous allegation that it had all been a lapse in judgement, an episode that had never and would never be repeated. My parents were so desperate to believe that their only child wasn't an aberration of nature that they had been purposely blind to the universal truth that a tiger can't change its stripes.

A week into my visit, I could no longer stand the farce of pretending to be a "changed man". Had I had any lingering doubts about the rightness of my decision to accept myself, the week spent with my parents would have erased it. No one could find happiness in pretending to be someone else's ideal of perfection. The dreaded time to "come out of the closet" had arrived and I couldn't deny how relieved I was to stop denying myself the joy of being who I am.

Though I was certain of my decision, deep within my soul I knew that I would lose both of my parents once the truth had come to light. So, for the first time in my life, I went fishing with my dad. We didn't talk much, but we surely drank a lot. A few fishes later, we were behaving almost like the stereotypical manly man who bonded over a few beers and dirty jokes. Except that, somehow, both of us knew that we were saying our goodbyes. There was a certain strain in our laugh, a measure of pretence in our words. We were trying to make it memorable, to put that day on a different realm where it would be kept untainted by the sour words that soon would be exchanged.

I didn't want my sweet, emotional mother to be forced to choose between my father and me. So, I gave her my cell phone number, my e-mail, added her to my facebook account – means to keep in touch, even if we couldn't be in each other's presence. Wise woman that she is, my mother asked me to wait just another day. She wanted to cook my favourite meal, bake my favourite cookies – fuss over the son that she most likely wouldn't see for as long as her husband should live, for they had a very traditional marriage where the man dictates and the woman simply obeys.

I didn't prepare a speech, nor did I try to think ahead – I decided to speak from my heart and hope for the best while making contingency plans for the worst. Therefore, my luggage was already packed and loaded in my car – I was ready to leave immediately after our conversation.

They sat side by side, hands entwined. My mother wore a pleading look, silently begging me to abort my plans. My father's expression was unreadable, but his eyes were hard, although there was a hint of sadness in them. Looking at them I felt selfish for choosing my wellbeing over theirs, but I knew that, despite the guilt gnawing my insides, I could no longer play at "normalcy". Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for an unpleasant conversation. Fortunately, my voice came out strong and steady, showing none of my inner turmoil.

"Mom and Dad, I want you to know how much I love you, how much I appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for me. You are my only family and you are the most important people in my life. You've always been there for me and I want to always be there for you, if you let me."

"What's this nonsense boy?" My father's reproachful words carried an underline of desperation, like a condemned man pleading for mercy.

"Dad, please, let me finish. Otherwise, I won't be able to say everything I need to say."

At his begrudged acquiesce, I proceeded with my confession.

"I have always been a dutiful son. I had good grades, I stayed out of trouble and I never complained about our lack of material possessions. I earned a scholarship to college and never asked you guys for anything. I've always strived to be the son you guys wanted and up until the episode that precipitated my leaving, I think I succeeded."

"Son, please, let's not talk about it. There is no need..."

Oh, my sweet mother, always trying to avoid confrontation. However, my father didn't let her finish.

"Let him speak."

Gone was the sadness, his eyes were burning with barely suppressed contempt. He simply wanted me to get to the point, so that he could unleash his temper.

"I was always the quiet kid – the shy, lanky boy that simply didn't date. In truth, it wasn't about feeling awkward around girls, it was about not being attracted to them. My sexual awakening came later than usual and it wasn't brought by a girl. As you well know, my first sexual experience was with a man. Please believe me when I say that I'm sorry for all the shame that videotape has brought to you guys. I had no idea that it was merely a prank. I would never, ever hurt you on purpose."

"There is no need to talk about this filth in your mother's presence. It's all water under the bridge now. We have forgiven you and you have promised us that you would never again engage in those unnatural acts."

Like a sadist, he refused to make it easier for me, going as far as unearthing a promise made out of despair by a boy desperate for his father's approval. My father wanted to hear me state what he considered to be an unforgivable sin. Then, he would be able to indulge in his self-righteous anger. But I pushed through because I needed to come clean, no matter how high the price for honesty might be.

"I tried to behave like you expected me to. I tried to be interested in girls, but I simply am not. Mom, dad... I'm still a good person, I'm still your son... but I'm gay and I no longer can deny it."

Tears were blurring my vision and I tried to reach for my mother because at that moment I needed to feel the comfort of her embrace. I have no doubt in my mind that my mother would have enfolded me in her arms, offering me the gift of acceptance. But it wasn't meant to be, for my father chose that moment to step between us.

"You fucking faggot. Get the fuck out of my house before I break your pretty face."

It was nothing more than I predicted but still his hateful words burned me like molten lave would, but I was determined to not let it show. Plastering a wobbly smile on my trembling lips, I told them that I loved them and said goodbye.

My father simply stood there, sputtering with anger, unable to pronounce the expletives that were surely going through his mind. However, my mother proved herself to be braver than I ever gave her credit for. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, telling me to drive safely and e-mail her when I arrived.

That day I closed a painful chapter of my life. I made a choice and paid a high price for it. Despite everything I lost, I was glad to finally have voiced the truth of my heart. Maybe, somewhere down the line, my father will come to terms with my homosexuality. If his acceptance ever comes, he won't have to beg for my forgiveness, he won't have to apologize – my love for him is unconditional, I will take him anyway, anytime.

Thankfully, I didn't have the time to wallow in self-pity, for I needed to find a job. As generous as my scholarship was, it still didn't allowed me many luxuries and, as any other college guy, I needed money to spend in frivolous pursuits, such as going to bars and drinking beer. I answered many ads, but without any previous work experience, it became almost impossible to find any position.

I was almost giving up and accepting the fate of becoming a hermit out of my financial constraints when destiny intervened. My last interview of the day was at a small, charming bookstore. Getting there, I was greeted by the manager an extremely tall, frighteningly thin men who went by the name Alistair. I have to say I was a little freaked out by the guy. His eyes kept darting sideways like someone who is expecting to be attacked by some unseen menace. Half way through the interview I noticed that he was completely bald underneath the dreadful wig he was wearing and that his hands were gnarled, his nails long.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that my reaction was ridiculous but I simply couldn't help it. The guy looked exactly like the weird dude from "Shadow of the Vampire". It wasn't manly, but I felt a shiver going down my spine and a bead of sweat trickling down my forehead. And when he looked directly at me for the first time, I was startled by their odd shade of green. I'm ashamed to confess that when I heard a door closing, I almost jumped out of my skin. For a second I felt trapped, like it often happens in horror movies with unsuspecting victims. Then, a raspy voice followed... I almost let a girly scream out, but some higher power spared me from the shame.

"Dude, cut it out. I told you to stop messing with people, we will never find someone if you keep freaking them out."

A sheepish grin twisting his gaunt face, Alistair seemed almost apologetic. However, I was out of charity and pretty pissed for being so easily scared. Like the rational person that I am, I turned my wrath onto a totally innocent target, the newcomer. Turning towards him, I was unprepared to the sight of him standing there all male beauty and rugged body. Taller than me, bronzed skin, a scruffy chin, dark eyes and hair, he had broad shoulder and lips that would look amazing wrapped around my cock. My body's reaction was instantaneous and painfully obvious, because, let's face it, I'm a fortunate man.

Blushing wildly, I averted my eyes, trying to regain some semblance of control over my body. Who gets hard just seeing an attractive male? It was the Jasper debacle all over again. Damn it, I really didn't want to get down that road. Deciding that any escape attempt would be pathetic at that point, I took a deep breath and faced the man. I hoped that he was oblivious to my... state, but no such luck. There was laughter in his eyes and his beautiful, kissable lips were smirking knowingly. Fuck, why did I have to be so freaking obvious?

Sensing my discomfort, the gorgeous man decided to offer me an olive branch – for that I will forever be thankful.

"Hey, I'm Garrett. And you are?"

Instead of simply shacking his extended hand, I stood there gawking at him, like a horny moron – not my most brilliant moment, I'm afraid.

"Hum, ahh... Edward, that is. Yes, I'm Edward, hi."

What a freaking idiot. The guy was going to think I was mentally challenged. But he proved himself to be a true gentleman by choosing to ignore my many faux pas.

"Don't mind Alistair, he is an idiot and a scenic art major – not that one is conducive to the other, mind you. It's just that his he has this weird idea that he has to stay in character all of the time. That's why I don't let him deal with the public and why I usually don't let him interview the applicants. But today I had an emergency and I had to put him in charge. I'm sorry for that. Maybe we could start over?"

From then on, the conversation flowed easily. Garrett had no compunction in sharing details of his life. From that first conversation I learned that he was an only child, eight years my elder and that he had just inherited the store from a distant uncle. To my astonishment, I found myself opening up to Garrett, telling him the mortifying secrets that I had never voiced in anyone's company. When night fell, he closed the store and we went to a coffee shop down the line. We sat for hours talking about everything and nothing. For the first time in my life, I felt free to be me and right then I fell a little bit in love with the amazing man who had so effortlessly knocked down my defences.

I got the job and a ride home. That night, while I lay awake on my lonely bed, my hands found the path to my engorged flesh. I pleasured myself to thoughts of having Garrett as a lover. I knew how impossible it was, for he had made perfectly clear that he had a girlfriend.

"Hey, dipshit, wait up." Oh, Rosalie, always the queen of polite speech.

"I said wait up, damn it."

"Rose? I didn't hear you. How are you these days?"

I know I'm being an asshole, but I can't help myself. Since my return, I had been systematically avoiding anyone that was remotely related to Jasper. I didn't want to face him or anyone who might know about our encounter. I still hadn't made my peace with the way he treated me, besides I felt that Rosalie was to blame for a large portion of the incident. Had she never approached me with that ridiculous speech of jasper-is-not-as-bad-as-he-seems I would never have allowed myself to be ensnared on his web of seduction.

"Humpf. Why have you been hiding? Cowardice doesn't become you."

"Cowardice doesn't become you? What the fuck Rose? Have you been reading? Why? Don't do that to yourself, you know that your brain can't survive the strain."

"You are a douchebag. I was trying to make you a favour, nimrod. So, Jasper fucked you – big fucking deal. He fucks anything with a hole, you are not the first and will not be the last. Just get over yourself. Nobody gives a shit."

I trace an uncanny parallel between the past and the present: on both occasions I have been exposed to public scrutiny by my would be lovers. Why do I attract this kind of guy? I don't dwell on the thought for long, because I'm beyond angry. Nobody has the right to intrude on my personal life.

"Listen blondie, I'm damn tired of you and your family bugging me. What happened or didn't happen is no problem of yours or anyone else's. I chose to distance myself from your crew because you are all promiscuous dipshits who don't know the value or the significance of the word faithfulness. You all think that you can fuck your way through life, but guess what? You nimrods don't realise that there is more to relationships than fucking. That's why I don't want to mingle with you. And if you have half a brain, you will recognize my little rant for a wakeup call – start paying better attention to your girlfriend, otherwise, you might lose her."

She just stood there, her gapping mouth turning her face into a perfect representation of a fish. I was ready to take off while I still had the upper hand, but the little harpy wouldn't allow my retreat. Groaning angrily, she took no prisoners.

"Get out of you high horse, Mr. Know-it-all. Who the fuck are you to judge me or my friends? We are young, we need to experiment, we need to learn. We are not at the point in our lives where we are ready to settle down. First, we have to spread our wings. Do you think that everything you need can be found on a book? Guess what, your books didn't help you deal with your sexuality."

"So what? I should be a slut like Jasper? Or just an asshole like you?"

"No, dispshit, what I'm saying is that you should stay true to your own desires. Don't you see? You are still holding on to the stereotypical image of the good guy. If you are truly that guy, fine, find yourself a boring boyfriend and live a staid life. But if you are not, stop being such a ninny. Just own up to it and do as you please."

Irked by the wisdom of her words, I tried to find a way to lash out. Coming up empty, I desperately sought for a way to wound her, to make her feel as unsettled as I was feeling. However, my mind was a blank abysm of despair, void of cutting remarks or witty come backs. I was a sitting duck, an easy target for Rosalie's attack. When it came, it wasn't in the form I was anticipating, it was much worse. Gone was the anger, in its place there was compassion and some amount of pity.

"Look, I know that you think you were screwed over, but the thing is, you needed the experience. If I hadn't pushed you into it, you would have never taken the first step. Edward, you only came to terms with your homosexuality because you surrendered to desire. I know it was painful, but growing up usually is. And just to be clear, I really thought that you and Jasper might be a good match, that... I don't know, maybe you could tame him or something. But, once again I was wrong. So, forgive me for misleading you, but don't hate me, I was really trying to help."

I wanted to stay mad, I really did. But damn Rosalie and her puppy eyes, they made it impossible to hold on to my anger. Besides, though she had gone about it on a really horrible way, she actually helped me. I truly needed the reality call that my one night stand with Jasper was. Though I wasn't angry anymore, I still was far from being ready to face Jasper or Peter. I still felt misused and until I regained my self-esteem I knew that I couldn't survive an encounter with either of them. Unfortunately, it also meant that I had to avoid their usual haunts and their usual crew.

"Rose, one day things will get back to normal, but not right now, okay? Just save a special place for me, one day I will occupy it again."

An unexpected hug closed our meeting. Rosalie had given me a lot to think about, maybe I truly should re-think the way I wanted to live my life.

I was nervous and fidgety – the perfect picture of a nerd trying to crash the "cool kids" party. Except that I was no longer a child, I was a man trying to fit in a gay bar. Once again, Rosalie had steered my path towards the unknown, even though I had promised myself that I would never again listen to her. However, her random speech had awakened a part of me that yearned to be a little bit reckless, to feel alive.

Little by little the idea of embracing a more carefree lifestyle started to grow on me. It wasn't an abrupt transformation but rather a gradual change of habit. I smiled more and sometimes even allowed my eye to linger on an attractive man for longer than it was polite. After a little while, I was astonished to realise that my clumsy attempts at flirtation were being reciprocated. It was exhilarating and a little bit frightening, because it meant I no longer had any plausible excuse to hide myself from the world.

Most likely, I wouldn't have had the guts to take a step as drastic as going to a "hook-up place" had it not been for the building sexual tension between me and my hot-as-fuck boss. Every passing day we grew closer, our shared interest in books and classical music allowed for long conversations shared over coffee, more often than not, after working hours. There wasn't a lull in our exchange – it was simply a never ending flux of synchronicity. I wanted Garrett in me, beneath me, with me, but he was out of my reach.

So, I settled for the next best thing – any man who came my way. Despite my resolution to put myself out there, I was still working up the courage to actively seek for a companion when a beautiful blue eyed, blond haired guy sat on the stool right next to me. One look at the man who resembled so much someone who I didn't really want to remember and my cock was standing at attention.

He talked on and on about things as silly as the hottest hang-out places. At some point I shut out my ears and sharpened my vision, because he was one hot piece of ass – if I had to suffer the never ending chit-chat, I might as well get some eye-candy compensation.

Yeap, I ogled the dude to my cock's almost content, but still couldn't bring myself to make a move. Maybe he was just lonely... Maybe he was waiting for someone else... The hot iron of rejection had burned into my mind the fear of being slighted. However, my apprehensions were put to rest because his hand crept up my inner thigh, brushing my stiff cock.

"Honeybeans, I would totally take you home with me but me and my roommate have a sort of curfew system – today he gets to fuck his date in our condo. Do you have a place we can go?"

I felt like someone had kicked me on my chest. Damn, I hadn't considered the logistics of a hook-up. Somehow, I didn't think that my roommate, as understanding as he was, would appreciate being kicked out of the room on a Thursday night. I couldn't believe that I was about to decline a much needed fucking because I didn't have a place. Dismayed, I tried to calculate if I had enough cash for a Motel, when his chuckle brought me out of my reverie.

"I'm guessing you are a college boy. No matter, sweetcheeks. There is an alley behind this place – I haven't gone in there for ages, but for you... Yes, you are worth the effort."

I have got to say that his words were a wonderful ego boost. Feeling confident, I entwined my hands through his hair and kissed his pouty lips. They tasted of cherry and sat from the margueritas he had been consuming. It wasn't earth shattering or magnificent, but it was pleasant enough – arousing even.

"Hey, cowboy, I'm not about to give a free show for these peeps. Come with me."

Taking my hand, he pulled me off the stool, through a long row that bypassed the bathrooms and ended on a darkened alley. I didn't even have to catch my bearings when I was pushed against the wall and assaulted by my eager partner. I tried not to think about the filthy wall, but as soon as his hips pressed against mine, I lost all train of thought. His cock was large and very hard rubbing against mine. A stab of shame pierced my mind at that moment – a lifetime of being taught that homosexuality is wrong isn't easily erased. Besides, my two previous sexual experiences had done nothing, but reinforce the notion that gay sex was disgraceful, therefore to be harshly punished.

Showing a depth of character that I would never have suspected, he slowed the kiss and whispered in my ear the reassurance I needed to proceed.

"Don't think too much, honeybunney. There is just you and me – we are not hurting anyone, just having a little fun. Relax and let yourself feel. There is no right, there is no wrong – just the rightness of being true to yourself."

Brought back to the moment, I was elated to realise that his chest was bare. Though the poor lighting of the alley didn't allow me to admire the full extent of his physic, I saw enough to make me uncomfortable inside my jeans. Enthralled, I suckled his nipple while working on getting him out of his pants. When his cock was free I pumped it with gusto, panting at its girth. Would it fit in me?

Just then, I was hit with an unsettling thought: what if he wanted me to top? Would I go for it? Was I ready to be the one doing the fucking? Yes, I wanted to be the one pounding into a tight ass... but just not yet. I wasn't allowed to dwell on that thought for long, because blondie was frenetically undressing me.

The feeling of his calloused hands ribbing my nipples sent shivers down my spine. Not for the first time that night, I wondered if I should have paid better attention to the man who was so skilfully taking care of my needs. I was distracted by his hand pressing against the back of my knee, gently guiding my leg up and around his hips.

Properly wrapped and lubed, his cock nudged my ass cheeks apart. I must have been really nervous, because there are a lot of gaps on my memory of that night. The next thing I remember is being roughly fucked while blondie worked my cock with his hand. The moment of delicious oblivion came and went too fast to recall, too short to satisfy. From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow moving in the darkness, but when I tried to focus my vision whomever or whatever it was, had already departed. In its awake, I was left feeling unsettled, for there was a tingling of a knowledge trying to make itself known to my conscious mind.

Only later, I realised that I didn't even know blondie's name. From shy nerd to hooking up with an unnamed dude – I had really become a college guy.

My little adventure had no further repercussions on my day-to-day life than leaving me with the desire to repeat the experience. Having tasted the sinful fruit of surrendering to lust, I was eager for another plunge into the forbidden world of hook-ups. However, between working and studying I didn't have the time, or the energy, to seek for some willing partner. Besides, my "dates" with Garrett stocked up my spank bank with more than enough material.

I'm ashamed to confess that I took care of myself during my shift more than one time. Whenever Garrett came around with his ready smiles and easy manner, my mind turned to the gutter. I was assaulted by visions of him, smiling a private smile, standing before me in all his naked glory. Sometimes, he was teasing me by slowly stroking his cock, other times he bending me over his office desk...

Unbeknown to me, there was another person aware of my growing attraction to Garrett. Alistair came to me, right after I had relieved myself from my... problem. Weird as only he managed to be, Alistair started to circle me, like a dog does to a wayward sheep. I merely lifted a brow at his weird antics – having worked with Alistair for over four months had left me with a high tolerance for the unusual. His circles grew smaller, until he was standing right in front of me, less than a palm between our bodies.

Unwillingly to show discomfort at his proximity, I tilted my head back and glared at the inquisitive eyes staring back at me. We were locked on that bizarre contest for what felt like a million years. Whatever he was trying to do, I wouldn't bulge – Alistair was like a wild beast, one must never show fear or it will pounce.

"Are you a follower of Onan?"

From all the unholy things to ask, did he have to choose that one? Damn, a dude is entitled to a little privacy, right? Feeling cornered I decided to play dumb.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Onan was feature on the Book of Genesis, Chapter 38. He disregarded the principle of a Levirate union by withdrawing his penis from his brother's widow body, spilling his seed on the ground. For being wicked, Onan had his life taken by God."

Talk about creepy useless knowledge...

"Dude, where do you learn this shit?" I probably shouldn't, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Wikipedia. Now, are you?"

"Were you researching the theme?"

"No, just came across it when I was reading to the On section of the A-Z index. Will you answer my question?"

"You mean you've read the entire content of wikipedia? Alphabetically? Just for fun"

"It's not that big deal. Stop stalling."

Really, I wasn't stalling. Who reads Wikipedia as a hobby? I simply couldn't get past the realisation that Alistair was even weirder than I thought him to be. But when he cleared his throat, I was no longer dumbfound by his revelation, I was downright angry at his meddlesomeness. What I did on the privacy of the employees bathroom was no business of his.

"No, Alistair, I don't think I'm Onan's follower. As you well know, I'm gay, therefore my dick has never been in the vicinity of a woman's vagina, thus making it impossible for me to withdraw from it and spill my seed on the ground."

One thing I learned is that, whenever dealing with Alistair, one must never abide by the laws of sanity and normal conversation.

Clucking his tongue, Alistair fixed a disapproving stare at me. Hum, apparently the Onan debacle wasn't over yet...

"Since you seem to lack the mental mechanism which allows for subtlety, let me clarify my question. The term onanism has also been applied as a synonym of masturbation – so, what I am asking you is if you just spanked your monkey while fantasizing about our boss."

Holly fucking shit, not only it was the most impertinent question ever asked on God's green Earth, but it also was the most ill timed one on all of humankind's history, for Garrett was standing right behind Alistair.

To his credit, Garrett managed to keep a straight face, although there was a suspicious glint in his eyes.

"Alistair stop prying into Edward's life. If you scare him away, you will be forced to work double shifts, think about that."

Alistair mumbled something about labour laws and left without further ado. I didn't know where to look or what to do with my hands, because, let's face it, the situation I was facing was every gay guy's nightmare. It was a testament to his superb manners, the way Garrett smiled easily and quickly gave me an assignment that would keep me from seeing him for the rest of the day. I was relieved by his dismissal, but also oddly disappointed.

"My gay cousin is in town."

I should have known that my reprieve from Alistair wouldn't last forever. The weeks following the Onan incident had been blissfully free from the worst of his erratic behaviour. But, apparently, I ran out of luck, which left me with the dilemma of how I should answer to his out of the blue statement. It didn't take a genius to realise that Alistair was trying to set me up with his cousin, Lord help me, but no matter the price I had to pay or the amount of weirdness I had to endure, I wouldn't let myself be snared on Alistair's matchmaking scheme.

"Hum. So?"

Playing dumb is sort of coward, but it also bought me some time to figure out what would be the best way to get out of Alistair's clutches.

"You two should hook up. He is hot."

"Does he look like you?"

"Yes, except that he is shorter. And blonder. Also, his eyes are green. He is stockier than me. Nah, I'm no good with descriptions. Here, let me show you his pictures on facebook."

Overcome by perverse curiosity, I looked over Alistair's shoulder to the screen that showed a surprisingly good looking young man with a pretty smile and intelligent eyes. Against my better judgement, I was in deed interested on Alistair's cousin. I blamed it on my neglected dick who happened to be desperate for action.

"He will be picking you up today at five. Enjoy, because dude you need to get laid."

"What the fuck Alistair? I didn't say yes. Besides, what the fuck do you know about my sexual habits?"

"You take at least six trips to the bathroom every day. Given the amount of fluids you consume, I'm guessing that at least 2 out of those six times have nothing to do with peeing."

"Hey, smart ass, maybe one of those 2 times I'm taking a crap."

"Probable but not likely. Most of the times one evacuates it's preceded by the emptying of one's bladder. However, I'll cut you some slack and decrease my estimate to one out of six. In any case, it is still an alarming rate, especially if..."

"If you shut up, I will go out with your cousin."

Smiling broadly, Alistair made that stupid "zipping the lips" movement. For the remainder of the day, I was offered a glimpse of heaven. Alistair was blissfully quiet, going as far as refraining from spending the afternoon humming the Imperial March. The store was so quiet that I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard someone at the front door.

I have to confess that Alistair's cousin was truly a work of art, With the sun shining on his blond locks, he seemed to be an ethereal creature made to fit my most sinful fantasies. When he opened his mouth, I was surprise by his wry sense of humour and the absence of illogical speech. Apparently, weirdness doesn't rum in the family – thankfully.

"So, how did Alistair get you roped into taking his gay cousin out?"

"He wouldn't stop talking."

"Yes, he used the same tactic on me."

We shared a good laugh and talked for a while. Mark was truly a nice guy, I didn't know how he could possibly be related to the King of all things bizarre. We were already at the door when I noticed Garrett watching us. There was a muscle ticking at his jaw and his eyes were burning with something akin to jealousy. Could it be...? But I didn't let myself go there, I had learned my lesson. There was no point in letting my imagination run free, for he surely wasn't interested in me. Better to stick to reality.

That night we shared a pleasant dinner and later went to a bar. Mark was sweet and upbeat, instigating drinking contests and luring me to the dance floor. Soon, the movements of our bodies turned into something more than a dance. He fed my already overflowing lust, getting me so horny that I had no qualms about letting him fuck me in his car, on a very public venue. He worked my body so hard that it took me a long time before getting the energy to redress myself. Throughout all of our romping, I was assailed by the same sense of recognition, the same issue trying to make itself known. But I didn't care because my body was sated and my heart was light.

As luck would have it, Mark decided to stay for another night. I was overjoyed by the prospect of another steamy encounter with him, so I spent the day humming to myself and smiling easily. Alistair was full of himself, crediting matchmaking as one of his self proclaimed skills. But not even that was enough to erase the glow of being thoroughly fucked.

The only dark spot on my bright day was Garrett's unusual mood. He was short tempered and brooding, a stark contrast to his usual sunny self. Sometimes, I caught him glaring at me; other times, he was sending murderous look to Alistair who seemed completely unfazed by his boss' hostility – actually, he seemed downright amused by it. I tried to push Garrett's sour disposition to the back of my mind, but the task was impossible when he asked me to come into his office.

As soon as he closed the door, Garrett pinned me with a murderous look. Taken aback, I didn't know what to do, because I simply couldn't comprehend what could be the source of so much displeasure.

"I thought you were different."

"What do you mean?"

Tugging at his hair, Garrett started to pace. He was muttering under his breath, seemingly trying to find the right words to express whatever it was that he was trying to say. Suddenly, he stopped right in front of me. Holding my gaze, he reached out for my hand.

"Don't go with Garrett's cousin."

Dumbfounded, I gaped like a fish, frantically willing my mind to grasp the significance behind Garrett's statement.

"I have never been interested on a guy before. I never even entertained the possibility. Shit, I still enjoy big tits and a tight cunt, but I can't stop thinking about you.

"You are so smart, so beautiful, so fun to be around. I thought we were friends who had a lot in common. I thought I only wanted to know your mind. Little by little, you started to intrude on my fantasies. At first, you and I shared a girl, but as time passed the woman's image faded – there was just you and me.

"I tried to write it off to my pervy mind playing tricks on me. And I will have keep on living in denial, but the sight of you going on a date with another guy filled me with rage. Damn it, it was supposed to be me taking you out, kissing your mouth, pounding your ass. I want you all to myself, even though I know nothing about being gay.

"Shit, what I'm trying to say is: give me a chance."

The object of my fantasies was standing before me, saying all the right words, pleading for a chance to be with me. Could life get sweeter? However, I had been burned before – I had no interest in once again becoming the plus one on an already existing relationship. I wanted someone just for myself – no sharing, no screwing around.

"What about your girlfriend?"

"Kate? I broke up with her last night. I couldn't date her while thinking about another person, it would be dishonest to her and potentially hurtful too, if she ever found out the truth. No matter what, I'm not going to be with a person in whom I'm not completely invested."

Perfect answer.

Weary of talking I took a step closer to Garrett. Tentatively, I brushed my lips against his, giving him time to adjust to the idea of kissing another guy. It turns out that he was more than ready. He cupped the back of my head and swiftly invaded my mouth, eagerly searching for my tongue. His other hand pressed my back, pressing our chests together. It was exhilarating, the feeling of his aroused nipples rubbing against mine. When we broke apart I sighed in contentment, for I knew it was the start of my first relationship.


End file.
